Carissa

I've been living out of a suitcase for 5 months. I'm not used to searching my drawers for clothes again.

I found my buzz spot: 2 beers and 1 shot of hard liquor. Each drank at a slow pace. (its that limit where you're feeling a good buzz but you're not drunk yet)

I dunno why I'm stressed tonight. I have an apt, a job, everything is falling into place. But i'm too wound up to shut my eyes and sleep when i really need it.

All this fucker does is complain like everything is out of his hands. I hope he gets fired.

To update: story about the marine, the 100 dollar bill, and the filipino hookers

I actually wish i was still a tourist in NY that way i could explore the sites more. Too late now coz as a resident, you have to avoid the costly tourist traps.

My goal next year is to visit Florida to reunite with Matt. Two aquarius together will unleash total chaos and stupidity.

Whoo got a second job! Now just gonna gun for the apt on columbus circle!

For everytime i've been knocked down i've gotten back up. This is the 3rd time i've been driven out by someone i love. Can you blame me for being so cynical?

Few tears shed over tiny tribulations. But i'm better than this. I love her and it affects me but I'M in control of shutting out my emotions over mental focus.

Ok what i meant to say was how come i've faced some of the biggest obstacles and survived but there are still the littlest things that can reduce me to size.

I don't understand how a big part of me is so strong and can face anything, yet I allow the smallest forces bring me down to size.

I underwent a small hypnosis to reorganize my thoughts and my heart. I'm tired of justifying him no longer being in love with me. He left. Its over.

I feel a high amount of stress because someone is breathing down my neck. Its only been 5 work days since I sent out my resumes but I still can't relax.

Something i'm learning being a nomad in this city is to have as few valuable possessions as possible.

Life likes to put a gun to my feet to see me dance. Coz just when I have hope or some happiness- its gone with the wind. Why haven't I given up yet?

From my brother: Cocktail girls at strip clubs are strippers that havnt realized it yet

U know what there should be? A pop culture stripclub. For the guys who ever wanted to see chun li, mrs krabapple, or princess zelda naked

Move over Dr. Phil.

Check the time. Its 4:11am. I've been on the phone with Blanca consoling her about her boyfriend. Its a whole mess that makes me angry she has to put up with. I told her that I wish I could have been there in person to help her through this mess but I sent my personality double, Lindsay, instead. After they spoke, Lindsay called me and we compared notes.

Lindsay has a friend, Jessy, who has a dick boyfriend. Lindsay and I want her friend and Blanca to meet up and we just want to let them know that love can be so blinding you aren't seeing straight anymore. I am bewildered how Lindsay and I managed to escape such self-inflicting tragedies and ended up where we are now. Luck? Blessed with friends? How does our self-esteem differ from these 2 other girls (who are unfuckingbelievably GORGEOUS AND SLIM)???

I don't know if being the Depenable Shoulder To Cry On Friend is enough anymore. Should I switch to a Tough Love Intervention- yell at her to do something about because after 2 years I am tired of hearing of the same problem?

What really, really cheeses me is that her dilemma angers me to continue to despise being in another long-term committed relationship. It made me think Shit like this is so not worth another boyfriend. What man is worth this shit?

Its only 8pm but I am tired. I have been up since 8am.

At the New York City Public Library because I really needed to use the internet.

BY THE WAY THIS PLACE IS GORGEOUS AND LOOKS LIKE HOGWARTS.

I also had to pee too. And you can't pee anywhere in New York unless you pay the establishment. I wasn't about to fall for that tourist trap. Hell no, I walked in the library where there are BARELY ANY PEOPLE. I got to use the bathroom and now I'm on their computers.

Shit was about to go down right behind me!!!! I guess there was a kid in here and he was making some sort of noise. A woman complained. The librarian says "You want me to persecute the man for having a child in here? Its a public library." The woman is appalled and goes, "Those are some harsh, rude words." And the whole time they are speaking in library voices!! It was hilarious and I couldn't help type everything going down to Alexis on Facebook chat.